Today was a curious day in my family’s life. We were supposed to be celebrating my having been an אבא, which is to say celebrating the gift that is Ayelet. But at the same time we have this cloud hanging over our heads, our departure from our homes. And so tonight I am in the midst of so many emotions…
What is my job as an אבא? What role do I play? Our job is to partner with our spouses and to carve out a roadmap for our families. In the days of patriarchy we would be tough and believe that bringing home the money and keeping our families safe is our own mission. But now we have grown from Neanderthals and now we understand that we have many more roles to play and those roles are so sacred. We go shopping, we cook, we feed, we tuck in and get dressed. We do many different things and we try our hardest to be good at them. But in the end we still are very much in-tune with our Neanderthal inside us. We feel like we are responsible for security and for assuring our future and theirs. I will admit I feel that way quite often. When Carrie was pregnant, I took my role as the non-pregnant parent to be very seriously. I would never let her do anything that could jeopardize her security and the baby’s. To be a little more clear, I was the safety police. I have been vigilant about the car seat, about the baby-proofing, about everything. I check Ayelet’s crib every night before I go to bed. I take my job seriously and believe I am doing all I can to keep her safe.
But now I am torn, my career has caused me to have to uproot her from the only home she has ever known. All of her adult and kid friends, I am taking her from. I am removing her from the safest domain that has ever existed in her world. Does that make me a bad person, removing her from all of this? I hope not… I want her to be happy and I want her to have all of the opportunities in the world. I pray with all of my heart that she will be as happy in our new home as she is here. I pray with all of my heart that Ayelet will weather this big change as well as she has weathered all other events in the past. I need to be a good אבא and I need to be a good Neanderthal. I need to have a career and that means we need to move. I want Ayelet and Carrie to know that I will do my best to do all I can to keep us going and to keep us moving forward.
In the words of Steve Miller: Goodbye to all my friends at home, goodbye to people I’ve trusted. I’ve got to go out and make my way, I might get rich I might get busted.
We will not miss Seattle, we will miss the people and the community. We will miss our friends and we will miss our comfort zone. Please know that we are forever indebted to all of you here in the Pacific Northwest and we will always treasure our time here and all that each and everyone of you has done for us.
Please keep in touch…
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