At 5:00pm tonight Carrie, Ayelet and I walked across the street to the JCC to visit her classroom and meet her teachers. I have been going to great lengths to demonstrate that this is not school, but as Carrie says, it really is much more than daycare. I think that we all have issues at times in our life with our inability to slow the process of time and the deep-seeded desires to go back in time and relive our pasts. It is hard at this point to even remember Ayelet when she was just born and we were trying to get her to sleep a little at the hospital so that we could sleep a little. It is hard to believe that our little baby is now almost 10 months old. It is hard to believe that she is becoming so social and so interactive. Last December we bundled her up to experience snow for the first time, and then we rushed her back indoors to warm her up. Her experience and her experience now would be so different. Last February we boarded a plane for JFK and then waited eight hours to board a plane to Israel. We wanted to bring our little Ayelet to her ancestral homeland and to instill in her early on, a deep love of Israel. And once again I am certain that she would have such a different experience now than what she had then. Over these past months we have grown as a family and we have grown as people. We have learned what it means to truly put another person first, and we have truly learned what it means to love with all of your heart, soul and being (maybe now we are better able to show that love to God as well).
People have asked me what it is like to be a father, and how my life has changed. I will tell you all a few anecdotes and express just how it feels. the first thing is that being a father is by far one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my life. It is a source of pride and a source of joy. I knew I was a father a while back when I was sitting in bed with Ayelet and watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The episode dealt with a widow and her remaining children. Her oldest son died trying to save his drowning father. As I began to cry I looked at Ayelet and said to her: If ever your Abba is in danger like that boy’s Abba do not put yourself in danger to save me. I will save you, you do not save me. At that moment I understood that my mission was to take care of her and keep her safe. I would do anything to preserve that safety… anything. Another occasion that really struck me was during Passover when my parents were in town. I woke up one morning at around 9:00am and that made no sense. I had not slept in that late in some time. And so I got up and looked in Ayelet’s room and she was not there, and so I went into the living room where her Zayde (my Abba) was sleeping on the floor with a book open on his lap. Then I went down to the family room and found her Bubby (my Eema) asleep on the couch and I began to panic. I checked the door and it was unlocked. I was just about to call 911, when my Abba asked me what was wrong, and I said where is Ayelet? He looked down in the bassinet on the floor where she was sound asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and she looked up at me and smiled. I now began the rest of my life of worrying about Ayelet. The last case is one of the sweetest on earth. Each day when I put my key in the door and open it up I hear great jubilation and I see Ayelet leaning over the side of her chair where her Eema is feeding her, and I see her giggling and see her smiling right at me. It is the greatest feeling on earth and one that I would never trade for anything.
I guess that is all for now,
שבת שלום
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